Megamind: A Hero's Tale
by RamiaQuizzlinger
Summary: The story stopped with Megamind becoming a hero - or did it? This story includes MegaRox fluff  and fights , superhero/villain fights, friendships with Music Man and Minion, and everything else - including a woman who is VERY interested in Megamind...
1. Chapter 1: Oops

Yay, my first Megamind fanfic! Three cheers for the super villain/hero! He's badass in both cases ^_^ I like him better as a hero, though, he's way more heroic than Metroman in my opinion and just so cute with Roxanne. And he keeps his sexy outfit and inventions :P

I've been thinking about this story for a long time, I just didn't have a character that went well with the idea until Megamind came out. So hopefully this will be interesting and fairly detailed. I plan for it to be pretty long. I've been writing a little bit every day, so the chapters shouldn't take TOO long to get up. No promises, though.

Let the games... BEGIN!

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><p>Megamind handed the bag of dehydrated criminals to the closest police officer. Before the startled man could speak, the alien walked back to Minion, who was waiting near the Invisible Car.<p>

"Two robberies and an assault! A good night's work, wouldn't you say, Min-yon?" Megamind was grinning ear to ear.

Minion tried to be enthusiastic; he wanted his charge to be happy, but it was taking some time for him to get used to being a good guy. Normally, the policemen would be stopped, chased, or avoided, not actually **help** Megamind. "Yes sir," Minion grinned toothily, "a fine catch for the night! We'd better get back to the Lair, you have an interview tomorrow at ten."

"Yes, with Roxanne." Megamind's green eyes glittered enthusiastically. "Make sure I'm up, Minion, I don't want to be late!" Megamind flung open the car door and jumped into the driver's seat, stomping on the gas excitedly. Minion barely had enough time to hop into the car before it whisked away.

The ride back to the Evil Lair was uneventful. The normal fight over the radio ended with Megamind winning (again), and they smashed into a few mailboxes while Megamind was dancing in place to the end of "Sweet Child O' Mine". Thankfully, there were few pedestrians at three o'clock in the morning, so there was little risk of actual injury as the Hudson screamed invisibly around corners.

Back at the Lair, Minion went to a secluded corner to get some sleep while Megamind pulled on his nuclear-hazard pajamas. Climbing into his hard, prison-like bed, the big-headed superhero pulled his favorite moon-and-stars blanket up around his chin. Closing his eyes contentedly, already dreaming of Roxanne's light blue eyes and laughing smile, Megamind drifted off to sleep.

~~~MM~~~

A short woman dressed entirely in white crept inside the secret entrance of the Evil Lair with exaggerated slowness. Glancing up to make sure the brainbots were all silent, she snuck to the Invisible Car, where the strange woman placed a small blinking device under the back bumper. Considering for a moment, she slipped more devices onto the jet-bike and the resting Spiyider Bot. Still moving ridiculously cautiously, the brunette glided out of the Lair and off silently into the night.

~~~MM~~~

When Minion sleepily walked into Megamind's room, he found the blue superhero already behind his curtain, being dressed by the brainbots. The fish envied Megamind's endless energy. Megamind still had the attitude and drive of a teenager, even though he was thirty-two. However, as the years wore on, Minion slowed down. There shouldn't be so much difference, he and Sir were almost identically the same age. It was not fair!

Minion rubbed his robotic hands on the front of his tank like a human rubs their eyes. Four hours of sleep was **not** enough! Perhaps it was time to talk to Megamind again about getting enough rest...

Fighting down a yawn, Minion said, "Sir, I have your morning coffee and doughnuts ready, and the Invisible Car has the new coat of paint you requested - Hey!" Minion scowled, struck by a sudden thought. "Sir, why did you have me paint the car when it's invisible all the time?" he grumbled.

Megamind, appearing from behind the curtain in his normal black and blue jumpsuit and cape, sighed. "Be**cause**, Fillet Min-yon," Megamind groaned with exaggerated patience, "what if the car's invisibility breaks down? I can't be seen in a junkheap, can I?" He pulled on his custom baby seal leather biker boots. "Now, I'm taking the Battle Bot today. I think it would be much more-" Megamind dropped into his low, threateningly ee-vil voice "-**impressive**." The blue alien pulled on the robot's user-interface gloves and walked out the door past Minion, who was gaping in disbelief.

Shaking off his frustration (Why did Megamind **always** change his plans at the last minute?) Minion hurried into the Evil Lair. Megamind was in his workspace of organized chaos, inhaling the coffee and doughnuts even faster than usual. The superhero occasionally jotted on a post-it note in raspberry jelly. Trying to read the red handwriting upside down, Minion guessed that the post-its were ideas for the upcoming interview.

When Megamind was finished eating, Minion interrupted his frenzied writing. "Sir, you'd better get going. It's almost nine."

Megamind's bulbous head jerked up in shock. "What? Why didn't you **tell** me! I'm going to be late!" The blue superhero quickly gathered up his sticky notes and layered them like they were in the pack, clutching them tightly. Megamind paused, fidgeted nervously in place for a second, then turned to Minion and asked hesitantly, "H-how do I look, Minion?"

Minion smiled. This he was used to. "Despicably rotten, sir," the fish said helpfully.

Met by a forbidding scowl, Minion backtracked hurriedly. _Right, I have to use __**good**_ _adjectives now. _While Megamind still liked being called bad, he preferred nowadays to have some heroic recognition in there too. _Why does he always have to be so nuggety picky? _

"I mean, despicably **awesome**."

Immediately, Megamind's face cleared, becoming boyishly excited again. "Excellent! Of course, I am **devilishly** handsome" - he wiggled his eyebrows expressively - "so that's no surprise." The blue alien smiled roguishly. "Time to knock their shoes off!" Megamind exclaimed as he clambered into the spiked Battle Bot.

"Socks," Minion corrected automatically.

Megamind turned in confusion, the robot turning with him. "What?"

"It's 'socks', sir."

The former villain protested, "But - but that doesn't even make any sense! The shoes must be removed before the socks... Unless the reporters aren't wearing shoes! I've never seem Roxanne barefoot be-"

Minion interrupted his boss before he got too involved. "Sir! Your interview!"

Megamind, only part of his brain responding, started walking off toward the KMCP8 station, muttering about barefoot reporters under his breath.

~~~MM~~~

Megamind was still deep in thought when he arrived at the news station. Did Roxanne have nail polish on her toes? She sometimes had polish on her hands, so that was possible. If she did, was it for a special occasion or did she always have toenail polish? He hoped she wouldn't make him paint her toes. Urgh, touching someone's bare feet would be disgusti-

**Crash.**

Megamind abruptly found himself face-to-face with Roxanne - amidst a pile of rubble created by absentmindedly walking into the station building.

"Oops."

_Recover! No one must know it was a mistake!_ the blue alien thought frantically.

Quickly, Megamind rearranged his shocked features into a smug smirk and stiffened his hands, freezing the robot in place.

"Miss Ritchi, we meet again!"

Roxanne glowered, only momentarily surprised. "Couldn't you have used the doors?"

"That," he said with an evil smirk, "would not have been nearly as drah-mah-tic!"

Roxanne was still scowling, but it was now more of a banter-scowl than an I'm-going-to-kill-you scowl. "Don't you mean melodramatic?" The reporter relaxed. She was going to make sure he paid for the repairs. Then again, the damage would probably be covered by Megamind Insurance. Some cities had flood insurance; in Metro City, it was specialized insurance for anything destroyed in a hero/villain confrontation (or by said heroes/villains). She smiled inwardly, enjoying her chance to banter with him again.

Megamind cocked an arrogant eyebrow. "There is nothing mellow about **my** entrances! They are always rock hard!"

Many of Roxanne's coworkers, who by now were cautiously coming out of their offices and cubicles, snickered. Megamind could see cameras pointed his way and puffed up accordingly.

What he did not realize is that much of his audience thought the double entendre was intentional. They all knew Roxanne was dating Megamind, and a few had gossiped that she had stayed over the Lair for some 'bad time with the bad boy.' Roxanne had argued against these rumors, but Megamind's apparent tease seemed to confirm all those luscious stories.

Roxanne, unlike Megamind, got what her coworkers were laughing about. Her cheeks blushed a horrified pink. Her blue eyes flashed icily as she hissed "MEGAMIND!" The reporter was totally scandalized. They hadn't even gone beyond kissing and he had gone **there**?

Megamind was thoroughly confused. What was Roxanne upset about? He suddenly noticed the laughter (which was growing far beyond being mere snickers). He was paralyzed with fear and uncertainty. What should he do?

Before the blue alien said anything more disastrous, the news director, Mack, came in. Mack took one look at the situation and snapped, "Roxanne, get in here! We need you on set!" He glanced at Megamind subtly.

The relieved superhero took the cue gratefully and pranced into the newsroom with his usual swagger. Inside, he was cringing. What did he do to make Roxanne upset? It had to be connected to the news-team laughing. But **what**?

Roxanne stomped in, her black heels clicking sharply against the floor. Megamind noticed obliquely that she was wearing a gorgeous purple dress with a wide black band around her waist. In fact, it was the same dress style as the one she had worn for the last Metro Man Day. Same style, different color. He wondered if she often bought her clothes in sets. He didn't mind if she did; Roxanne would be utterly stunning if she weren't snapping like a crocodile.

As it was, he took a step back.

The director was finalizing lighting and camera angles, so he didn't notice Roxanne's icy glare change to fire or the implicit threat she posed to the network's VIP guest. By the time the director turned around, his star reporter had her face mostly under control.

Looking into his infuriated girlfriend's eyes, Megamind realized uncomfortably that this interview could turn bad very, very fast.

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><p>So hopefully, you guys like this. Review please! That tells me I should keep writing! Or that I should stop, for that matter, depending on the review. Anyway, I'd love to hear what y'all think!<p>

Hehe, I made Megamind say something dirty. I'm still chuckling about it XD Was it obvious enough? I'm a little worried because my boyfriend said it was really lame.

Oh God, writing that was hard. Thank goodness for my beta, TheVampireAlchemist. Absolutely SUPERB beta so far, caught a lot of errors in grammar and style already and it's only been one chapter!

I like writing about Megamind. He's so simple a soul, yet he has an emotional depth that's pretty rare in most movie characters. And he can be really inconsiderate, which makes him so fun. More fun to come in the next chapter, when Roxanne takes Megamind's mistake out of his hide!


	2. Chapter 2: Interview Nightmare

So, another chapter up! Thanks for all the reviews, story update alerts, and favorites! You guys seriously made my week!

Sorry for taking so long, hopefully next chapter will be up sooner.

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><p>Megamind fidgeted anxiously in the soft interview chair. This was extremely uncomfortable. It was the first time he had actually done an interview and the lights were getting to him. Usually it was dark when he was in front of the public. He squirmed again. He missed his leather ee-vil chair. He missed Minion urgently. He was acutely aware of the human, thus judgmental, cameramen behind the lenses, instead of his friendly brainbots. He had anticipated and accepted all of this, but Roxanne would be here, so everything would be fine.<p>

Only half of his assumption was correct, he mused nervously. Roxanne was indeed here.

But everything was **not** fine.

Roxanne sat across from him, breathing fire. Whatever he had done, it was bad. **Really** bad.

And he still had no idea what it was.

So he sat, fidgeting, looking anywhere except Roxanne. Suddenly, he found the buckles on his left boot extremely interesting.

Dimly, he heard the director say "And we're live in three... two... one..."

Megamind lifted his head and tried to look confident, like the Defender of Metrocity should. All those years of having his plans fall apart came to his rescue. The blue alien felt the arrogant mask slide over his features comfortably, though it slipped slightly when he saw Roxanne. Her face was almost placid except for her burning eyes. His heart quailed. The last time she looked this angry, she had left him...

Roxanne was furious. But as much as she wanted to rip the blue man's face off, she had a job to do. Lifting her face to the camera, the reporter began the interview.

"Good morning, Metro City! Welcome to The Morning Metro, your favorite start to the day. I'm Roxanne Ritchi, filling in for Liz Barker. We have a special guest with us today: a man who has worn the mantle of supervillain for much of his life, yet recently discarded his evil persona to become our new Defender of Metro City. Why did he change? How will his decision affect us? And what are his plans for keeping us safe? Here to answer those questions is Megamind."

Roxanne turned to face the superhero, who tried to look comfortable.

"So, Megamind, why the big change? We've known you as the reigning supervillain for well over a decade. You finally beat Metro Man and became the Evil Overlord. What made you think that being a villain was no longer for you?"

Megamind relaxed. Roxanne was just asking questions. Good. Smiling, he answered, "A lot of it was Metro Mahn. He was always my sparring partner, my nemesis. Without him..." He shrugged, face falling. "It was never the same. I could have anything I wanted. Anything!" He waved emphatically. "And no one stopped me. No one even tried, except you." The alien gave her a half-smile.

Roxanne ignored her boyfriend's blatant attempt at buttering her up. "So no one stopped you. Isn't that a good thing? Since when does a villain **like** getting his butt kicked?"

_Ouch._ Megamind winced. "I didn't like losing!" he protested. "I wanted to win! But you can't win if there's no one to defeat! I needed a chall-anje, someone to fight! I had no purpose! So I needed a new Metro Mahn, a new hero to fight, a new yin for my yang. That's **why** I created Titan!"

Started gasps sounded across Metro City at the shocking news. Even Roxanne was startled. They had agreed to keep Titan's origin a secret for publicity reasons, so why was he changing his mind?

Megamind, for his part, cursed Roxanne's ability to make him panic. Her and her nosy reporter skills! The blue man sat defensively back in his chair, glowering and crossing his arms.

There was an awkward pause. Clearing her throat, Roxanne asked, "Created Titan? You **made** that horrible villain?"

The reporter knew Megamind had created Titan, and why, and all the rest, of course. She just didn't want to seem as if she did. And also, Roxanne admitted privately, it was an excellent way to get back at her boyfriend for humiliating her.

Megamind scowled. "That oaf wasn't supposed to be a villain! He was supposed to be the new hero, the Defender of Metrocity! Titan never learned **anything** I tried to teach him," Megamind complained. "He couldn't banter, he had trouble controlling his powers, and he obviously did **not** learn about honor, justice, **or** nobility." His cheek twitched in disgust. "And he was late! Our debut battle and he was late! That incompetent, irresponsible, rude, unprofessional **l****ew****t**!" The thin alien flung his arms around emphatically. "I go to his apartment and he stole stuff! Stole it! Used all the powers I gave him to champion the cause of good for his own personal gain!" Megamind would have continued, but the big-headed alien was so upset that he could only splutter in frustration.

Roxanne's eyes had grown wider and wider throughout his impassioned speech. She had known that Hal was a horrible choice and that the plan had backfired, but Megamind was really upset!

"So your plan failed," the woman commented waspishly. "We know that you fought with Titan and were nearly killed, then came back to fight him again-"

Megamind controlled himself with an effort. "Yes," he interrupted. "At your request."

Roxanne's cheek twitched. At another time, the reminder that he had saved her life would have melted her heart. Now it just made her madder to remember that she had been so helpless around Titan. Roxanne Ritchi was never helpless! Bound, gagged, bagged, or blindfolded, but never emotionally **helpless**!

"You fought him again," she ground out. "Why did you change sides? You could have fought Titan just to defend your turf, your position as Evil Overlord. Why did you decide to become the hero?"

Megamind blinked. "The possibility of staying the Overlord never occurred to me," he said slowly. "I saved you, I saved the city. That's what heroes do."

"So you just took the title because you fit the bill? Was it just... convenient for you? Your new, action-packed, praise-filled destiny?" Roxanne noticed Mack draw his finger across his throat, telling her to stop. She couldn't take back what she'd said, though, and didn't want to. If Megamind had become a superhero for the same stupid reason that he'd become a supervillain, that he somehow fulfilled a destiny just by doing something... well, she couldn't take that.

Roxanne had thought that he had really changed what he wanted to do and who he wanted to be. But if he did it because he thought it was predetermined that he be the new hero, that meant that he felt he had no choice in the matter. He **had** to do it.

Maybe she was wrong about him changing. Maybe he had stayed the same person all along, a slave to his sense of fate. She hoped she was right the first time, that he really had changed. Roxanne waited for Megamind to respond, hurting.

_Please, let me be right._

Tension hung in the air.

Megamind was thinking, rubbing his chin thoughtfully.

Mack considered going to break - it was way past time – but this development was too sticky. He didn't like what his reporter had done, but it was too late now. And if Megamind responded during the commercials it would be disastrous.

So, the cameras rolled.

And still, they waited.

"I think," Megamind said hesitantly, "I think I've wanted to be the hero for a long time. I was destined to be ee-vil, yet... I wanted the white cape, to be respected... to be loved." His brow contracted in remembered pain and confusion. "That was not my life. I was cast as the supervillain, and I accepted that.

"Then, Metro Man was gone. A new chance, a new life, pleasing Roxanne... making her smile and laugh." A blissful smile settled across his face as he lost himself in his own world.

"After Titan was gone, after I had finally won, I realized I had a new destiny. Only good guys win. And I won. My impetus for success was there, smiling at me, holding me. The people were cheering. I settled into the role of Hero because it was the destiny I chose, who I wanted to be."

He lifted his head, lips parting, to look at Roxanne.

"The destiny I was able to choose because of you." His green eyes shone in loving wonder.

Roxanne's eyes glittered with tears. She opened her mouth to say something, anything, and choked with emotion. Flinging herself forward across the gap between their chairs, Roxanne folded her arms around her sensitive, caring, incredible hero. She felt his arms envelop her. She settled into his warm neck.

Only when she heard the clatter and shriek of cameras and booms did Roxanne recall that she and Megamind were not alone, that she had embraced him on **live television**, on the most popular morning show in the city, while she was **working**.

They heard whoops and catcalls from Roxanne's coworkers and one very excited "Go Rox**anne**!" from her best friend, Liz. Blushing furiously, the reporter tried to gently disengage from Megamind. She discovered that her boyfriend did not want to let her leave. His arms, while stick-thin, were still incredibly strong.

Struggling futilely, Roxanne protested. "Megamind, let me **go**!"

In response, his leather-covered arms tightened even more, trapping her firmly within his grasp.

Laughter filtered through his black ensemble to her crushed ears. Flailing, hitting, threatening, and kicking didn't work. Finally, in desperation, knowing that the commercial break would end soon, Roxanne did something low.

She bit him.

In the ear.

HARD.

As soon as she heard his high-pitched squeak of pain, Roxanne yanked away from him.

She straightened her dress and shuffled her feet until her heels were properly on again before settling herself primly in her chair.

Roxanne faced the room, which was suddenly silent. Across from her, Megamind's jaw hung slack in amazement.

Mack coughed. "If you two are ready?..." he muttered questioningly.

Both nodded, Roxanne biting her lip in shame. Of all the things to do to him after he had been so sweet!

Roxanne looked at Megamind apologetically. She noticed guiltily that his right ear bore a distinct pink bite mark that contrasted vividly with his blue skin.

The director said softly, "And three, two, one-"

Roxanne took her official reporter voice to mask some of her tumultuous feelings. "And we're back to our exclusive interview with Metro City's hero, Megamind. You said before the break that you always wanted to be a hero, yet considered that against your destiny. Then you changed your mind because you defeated Titan and saved the city."

Megamind nodded professionally. "That is correct."

Roxanne was relieved. Maybe she could get through this interview with no more distractions! "What does your decision mean for the average citizen?" she asked.

Megamind cocked an eyebrow. "A return to safety. Everything back the way it was – well," he amended, "without a decent supervillain, that is. So unfortunately, epically awesome battles are off the table for now." His voice drooped with disappointment and, slightly disturbing to Roxanne, nostalgia.

"However, I vow to keep the city safe against criminals and- ah-" he fumbled for a fitting word- "mis-cray-aunts."

Roxanne smiled. "What are your plans for keeping the city safe?"

Megamind waggled a finger at her. "Ah ah ah! No weaseling my plans out of me this time, Miss Ritchi! You know they are always tippy-top secret!"

Roxanne burst out laughing. She couldn't help it. After all the ups and downs of the morning, he pulled his same old shtick on her!

Muffling her laughter at the hurt and confused look on his face, Roxanne decided recklessly to let the public see all the banter she and Megamind had always shared before Metro Man came on the scene. "Secrets? What secrets? You're so predictable!"

His face fell, like always, and he snapped, "Predictable? Fine then, since I'm so **predictable**, you tell me what my plans are!" The blue alien smirked, sure that she would never guess. After all, he had only officially been Defender of Metrocity for twenty-nine days now. She had a lot less information to go on than usual.

This did not phase Roxanne one bit. Matching his superior smirk, she answered confidently, "First you intend to finish fixing up the city, using your brainbots. Other brainbots will patrol the city. At certain random times during the day and at night, you and Minion will personally patrol using the Invisible Car or Spider Bot. You also intend to put cameras on specific buildings so that even if the brainbots are busy, you can still know what is going on in the city at all times."

Megamind jumped up and pointed at her dramatically, opening his mouth to gloat – then let his hand droop when what she had said sunk in. "Wha- How did you **know**?" he cried, upset.

Roxanne shrugged and replied succinctly, "Minion."

Megamind paced agitatedly. "That, that, that infuriating fish! That dim-witted creation of science!" He continued his childish curses.

Roxanne raised her eyebrows, amused. "So **that's** what you were yelling at when I found your Evil Lair!" Ah, how she loved rubbing salt in his wounds.

"Huh?" He turned from his overdone rant. "Oh. Yes. Minion left the doormat out."

Roxanne smirked saucily. "You mean the one marked 'Secret Entrance?'"

Her boyfriend glowered, refusing to respond to such an impertinent taunt.

Roxanne grinned widely. "Well, I guess that's all the questions I have for today. Thank you for the interview, Megamind, and I- what's the matter?"

Megamind was hunched over, his black cape draping his form loosely, a huge pout on his big blue face.

"You-you didn't do the laughter," he whined.

The reporter chuckled. He was **so** predictable! Obligingly, Roxanne jumped to her feet and cried forcefully, "Ha!"

Grinning excitedly, Megamind leaned toward her and yelled, "Ha HA!"

Sassily, Roxanne responded "Ha Ha Ha!"

Megamind laughed evilly. "Muahahahahaha!"

He then turned to the nearest camera. "Citizens of Metrocity, never fear! Your Defender will keep the streets clean and all you mindless drones safe! Now, to work! Muahahahahaha!"

The blue superhero flung his cape behind him and exited the room, strutting sideways out the door with his distinct flair.

Roxanne turned to the camera and smiled brightly. "Well, there you have it! This is Roxanne Ritchi reporting. Up next," she glanced at the teleprompter and suppressed a giggle. "Titan the Terrible or Hal the Hopeless? The true story behind the criminal behind bars."

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><p>Soo... taking it out of his hide turns into total mush. In my defense, I couldn't leave her mad at him permanently! . Don't worry, the entire story is NOT going to be either mushy or full of anger. Though those are fun. :D<p>

I will be going into more about the woman in white next chapter, a little bit. Who exactly IS she? If you want to make your guesses, feel free; if you don't, that's fine too. Reviews make me happy either way :)

MegaRox for the WIN!


	3. Chapter 3: Set 'Em Up

**If you want to just read the story, skip ahead to the horizontal line. **

I know it took a long time. I'm not going to say anything this time about "I'll get the next one done sooner" for two reasons: firstly, because this semester ALL my evil teachers have said the phrase "It'll be a busy semester, but we'll get through it!" for all five of my college classes. Crap. They _mean_ it, too. My syllabi are scary. O.O

The second reason is because I always say that, and I always jinx myself. Something will come up, I'll feel guilty, then I'll get scared I won't finish it by my deadline, and finally I'll just give up because I didn't finish it by my deadline, so what's the point of continuing? That happened a lot for Raistlin's Daughter, and I won't do it to you or myself this time.

Thank you VERY much A Starlit Winter, Mabby, Dani Kin, Aurora Marija, StarvingArtist83, and LasersAndSpikes for reviewing, as well as all the people who favorited and story alerted. Y'all ROCK! ^_^ (Lasers and spikes? Now why does that sound oddly familiar...)

Also, thank you Anya. It's due to you that I've reconnected with my inner artist :)

An annoyance I found with uploading the story is that won't allow me to separate the scenes with a ~~~ and that's really getting on my nerves. In fact, it won't let me use any of the normal characters to separate them. I'm experimenting currently; I apologize for editing the first chapter a few times while trying to find a solution, and I apologize in advance for any other mucking-about. And now, on with the show.

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><p>As the cameras stopped, Roxanne ran through the door to the KMCP cubicles. <em>Good, I'm not too late, <em>she thought happily. Megamind was just outside the giant hole in the wall, getting settled in the battlebot. Roxanne ran through the rubble, skidding slightly in her heels. "Megamind!" she yelled, waving her arm.

He looked up inquisitively.

"Don't forget, we have a date at seven," Roxanne said cheerfully.

Her blue superhero just moaned contentedly.

"Where do you want to go?" she asked.

"Italian," Megamind responded firmly. "I still haven't tried Vizzini's alfredo."

Roxanne felt a twinge of guilt. The reason he hadn't tried the alfredo was because she had walked out on him during the Bernard incident. Megamind had lied to her when she abandoned him that time, and they had had two successful dates since then. No reason to feel too guilty, Roxanne reasoned.

"Come over the Lair at six," Megamind added. "Minion has a surprise for you." He turned, preparing to patrol.

"Don't smash the pavement!" Roxanne cried warningly. Last time he used the battlebot he'd left giant gouges in the street.

The robot's arm waved unconcernedly as it walked away, though the reporter's sharp eyes noticed that the battlebot's spurred feet seemed to be tiptoeing carefully now. Chuckling, Roxanne stepped brightly back inside the news building.

Where every single coworker was staring at her.

Roxanne smiled and shrugged affably. "What?" she asked innocently.

Liz Barker, Roxanne's incredibly bouncy best friend and the Morning Metro's normal newscaster, stared at Roxanne incredulously. "God, she even **sounds **like him," Liz murmured, thunderstruck. "What's happened to you, Roxie? First Metro Man dies, and you're all sad about it, that's fine. Then you go for that intellectual Bernard. Okay, he's not like, at all my type, but okay, sure. Now, you're totally in love with Megamind, who's a lot hotter than Bernard, by the way. But still. Since when do you ever go through guys that fast, Rox? Or go through guys at all? What gives?"

Roxanne chuckled, then laughed even harder at Liz's baffled reaction to her amusement. "I'll tell you later, Liz."

Liz scowled. She never could take 'later' well. She snapped bossily, "How's about now, sweetie? Just a one-on-one girl-to-girl talk?"

Roxanne shook her head, very aware of her coworkers standing by and drinking up the conversation like rain on a dry lakebed. "**Later**," Roxanne stated firmly. Liz wasn't the only tough woman at KMCP.

Liz stalked off abruptly, bouncing her blonde hair haughtily. Roxanne knew her friend would forgive her as soon as she spilled the boyfriend gossip. She smiled ruefully. Some people were just so easy to please.

Speaking of easy to please, Roxanne's new cameraman was hovering a few feet away. Resisting the urge to roll her eyes at the over-eager newbie, Roxanne gave him a thumbs-up and headed down to the news van to start her regular day.

~~~MM~~~

"_**NO!"**_

A white pump flew against the television screen, bouncing off harmlessly.

The woman in white, now missing a shoe, sat on the floor in a very squalid one-room apartment. She glowered hatefully at the interview playing on-screen.

"Why did he have to take the battlebot today? I bugged everything else, and he had to take the battlebot," she groaned. "I only have three days left to complete my assignment! Three days, including today, which is shot! Two days!" She grumbled irritably.

The television was still playing in the background, and the pale-skinned woman caught the name 'Megamind' again. She dutifully paid attention to the drab male, though she doubted the information would be useful. It was probably about the stupid interview again.

"Miss Ritchi and the Blue Defender were overheard discussing a date for tonight at Vino di Vizzini, a popular four-star restaurant with excellent service and-"

The woman in white shut out the rest, smiling wickedly. "Ohh. This could be good."

~~~MM~~~

Roxanne saw Megamind twice before three, once for a robbery and the other while he rescued a little boy from a burning building. After that, the hero vanished inexplicably from the streets. Although Roxanne continued to search for stories, the only other one she found in two hours was a group of men who claimed they were assaulted by a girl.

Roxanne rolled her eyes as she headed back to her apartment. The things people would say to get on the news. Though the men were beaten up by something, with all those broken bones, the reporter doubted a teenage girl could even touch six tough men from **that** side of town.

Roxanne walked up to her apartment building, greeting Carlos the doorman warmly as he opened the door for her.

Carlos glanced around nervously as he opened the door, checking behind her twice. "That blue freak won't get past me again, nope, not past me! I'm ready for him. I'll get him this time." The doorman fidgeted nervously.

Roxanne carefully kept her hands away from her sides as she spun into the elevator. Carlos eyed her suspiciously. Roxanne got the feeling he was checking her for Megamind's de-gun, or maybe even for hiding the blue alien.

After the elevator doors closed, Roxanne relaxed and sighed. Carlos had been extremely jumpy ever since Megamind had dehydrated him. She supposed that waking up jammed inside a bathroom sink could do that to a guy.

_Will the negativity from dating Megamind ever go away?_ she wondered. Roxanne didn't know how he dealt with all the frightened looks from so many people. Most liked their new hero, but those that had gotten in his way over the years had an extreme reaction to Megamind. The museum curator, Bernard, had had to take a week off from the Megamind Museum due to a nervous breakdown. Apparently, the man had complained that a washing machine was trying to eat him. The curious thing was that cranky Bernard, as far as Roxanne could tell, actually liked Megamind. So why did he have these odd hallucinations?

Roxanne wondered if the dehydration process did something to people's minds, and made a mental note to discuss it with Megamind at some point. She couldn't do a story on it because it might make Megamind look bad, but it was interesting anyway.

The elevator doors opened and Roxanne got out, moseying down the hall contentedly. At least now she didn't have to worry about Megamind kidnapping her at all hours anymore. Though, Roxanne admitted to herself, she did kind of miss the thrill of seeing what shocking new invention Megamind would dangle her from. And the banter had never gotten old.

Roxanne got in her apartment and quickly surveyed her closet for her date. Should she wear blue, to match Megamind? He always wore blue. Or her favorite color, red? White in recognition of his heroism?

She finally decided on a red dress. No reason to conform to Megamind entirely.

After taking a shower and doing herself up, Roxanne studied herself in the mirror, satisfied. Pearl earrings, a smooth chic red dress, a small red purse, black heels, and just enough makeup to accent her features. She looked perfect. Megamind would eat his heart out.

The reporter left, driving through downtown to get to Metro City's seedy abandoned district. Reluctantly, she pressed an invisibility button Megamind had recently installed on the dashboard. The paranoid man was apparently worried that the populace suspected where his Evil Lair was. Roxanne didn't know why, but she had a hunch that he was right somehow. A niggling thought pestered her that something had happened recently where a lot of people had visited the Lair. That didn't make any sense, though; it wasn't as if the aliens offered tours.

Snorting at the thought - "And here's the **other** big black spiky thing of heroic doom" - Roxanne made the last turn and drove straight through the Lair's graffitied fake wall. She parked immediately, afraid of hitting the invisible car, and got out.

Looking around, Roxanne determined that Megamind was not waiting for her. That was a bit odd; it was a quarter after six. He was always frustrated when she was even the tiniest bit late, even though he seemed to think that he, the great Defender of Metrocity, could be late by **hours**. Megamind didn't care unless his own schedule was impacted – like now. Yet here Roxanne was, fifteen minutes late and a no-show by Megamind.

Weird.

Roxanne waited for a few minutes, then decided to look around. He was probably just working. She decided to check his hanging idea area first, then the back of the formerly Evil Lair. Sometimes Megamind got so involved in what he was doing that he lost track of time.

The reporter walked calmly down the neat aisles between ancient piles of supervillain junk. A month of heroing couldn't overtake the years of villain work Megamind had behind his belt, and it showed. True, Death Ray modification parts lay on top of the closest pile, but underneath that were the remains of the blue alien's first attempt at mind control. Blue M logos glittered among the heap of cracked black helmets.

A little further on, something huge was draped in black cloth. Intrigued, Roxanne checked it out. Lifting the hem, she found a plaque labeled "Illiteracy Beam". She blinked. This one was new. She lifted the cloth even higher, pushing her head underneath, and discovered something... disturbing.

This machine looked a lot like Megamind's old lasers.

An enormous black tubular frame adorned with silver spikes and access panels took twenty feet to narrow down to a tiny golden point with a truly minuscule spike on the tip. It looked... elegant. And a little ridiculous, frankly, but Megamind and his inventions were always at least slightly silly.

Still, this new development was a bit ominous. The laser looked completed and the Death Ray wasn't, so that meant that the Illiteracy project was either prematurely abandoned or being tested right now. And it looked like one of Megamind's bigger projects, his first since becoming a hero.

Oh, dear.

Roxanne decided to talk to Megamind immediately about this. He tended to get way too excited about his discoveries and put everyone and everything in Metro City in danger, especially himself. She couldn't deal with losing him, not now.

Roxanne dropped the cloth and hurried to the curtained-off area. She hoped fervently that Megamind was there. She needed to talk to him **right now**, before things got out of hand.

The reporter didn't even pause at the curtain, just shoving her way past it. Before the heavy fabric even had a chance to fall, Roxanne launched into her lecture. "**Megamind**, what do you think you're doing? That laser-" she stopped, frustrated. Her hero wasn't here, either. Where was he?

Her attention was diverted by Megamind's idea cards, swaying softly in the breeze created by Roxanne's tirade. Instead of the red, orange, and white she was used to seeing, the cards flickered an intriguing dark purple. The reporter's curiosity was piqued. Knowing how they worked, Roxanne backed up a few feet for a better view...

"Roxanne, no!"

Breathlessly, Megamind ran to her-

skidded-

fell-

and bounced right back up as if nothing had happened. "Don't look at that!" he demanded.

"Why?" Roxanne was bewildered. He usually gloated about his plans instead of hiding them.

Megamind's first instinct was to lie. Maybe if he told her it wasn't finished or that it was one of his old supervillain plots, she'd leave him alone.

Ah, perhaps he could say it was something boring! Maybe a new design in toilets. Yes, she would be both disgusted and bored! Genius!

Or, he could tell her the truth. Less fun, more risky, and much more like the New Heroic Megamind. Perfect.

"It's a surprise," Megamind murmured suavely, hoping that his sexy dastardly-heroic voice would distract her.

The reporter was immediately interested. "What kind of surprise? Minion's?"

Megamind was caught unprepared. "Um.. **yes**! Of course! Minion's surprise! Exactly!" _Oops. I lied again. Maybe this hero thing takes some practice. _

Roxanne, skeptical, started to call him on the blatant lie when she suddenly remembered the Illiteracy Beam. "Megamind, about that new laser you created, you have to think about safety- hey!"

Megamind panicked. Roxanne wasn't supposed to know about the Literacy Beam! How did she know about the Beam? How did she **always** know? Megamind started pushing Roxanne mindlessly toward the center of his Lair, wanting desperately to distract her from discovering anything else. By the time his brain caught up with his body, the alien realized he had already totally blown any possibility of a peaceful, romantic response to his surprise. Roxanne was obviously furious, snapping angrily to let her go.

As Roxanne continued raving, Megamind quickly considered his options. He could release her, apologize, and hope that she wouldn't leave immediately. That chance was extremely slim. He could ask her politely to follow him and see the surprise, which again would only encourage her to depart the premises. Or he could proceed with his impromptu plan and ensure that she would accompany him and receive his surprise, although not under the most favorable circumstances. This idea was the most likely to succeed. At least Roxanne would receive his gift, even if she didn't fully appreciate it.

Never one to hesitate, Megamind acted immediately on his decision. Swiftly, he tied Roxanne's wrists together behind her back and secured her beautiful, outraged eyes behind a white blindfold.

Roxanne, of course, was not pleased.

"How dare you! Megamind, let me go**right now** or I swear, I'll ignore you for a week! Mgglmg! Nph mhg gl! G whl!"

Although the blue ex-villain could no longer comprehend Roxanne's vicious threats through her newly placed gag, he still understood the gist. She certainly was intelligent enough to hit him where it hurt! Megamind only hoped that his Roxanne would enjoy the gift enough that she would forgive him. After all, a week without Roxanne was like a week without water!

Leading Roxanne to the center of his Lair, Megamind positioned her on top of the soap box he always stood upon when Minion edited his capes. He glanced quickly at the myriad screens surrounding the box. He had 59 now, many more than when he was a supervillain, and so far the only thing they had done was make Megamind feel more relaxed.

Each television screen now displayed the video feed from a different brainbot in a different part of the city. Thankfully, only four of these showed any sign of disturbance, and all of them were being taken care of by the police. The blue hero was extremely grateful toward Metrocity's Finest; it was only through their efforts that he was available to woo his fantastic reporter.

_Now, back to Roxanne. _Megamind smiled enthusiastically. Even with this unpropitiousstart, he was certain that Roxanne would love his display of affection. He had been working on it for weeks. After all, today was a very important day. Unconsciously, Megamind fell into his old supervillain voice as he vaguely discussed his plan with Roxanne. "Now, Miss Ritchi, I am sure that your spine is tingling with anticipation and awe at my impressive talents and sub-tle hints."

Roxanne made a muffled sound that was oddly like an amused snort.

Megamind confidently strode onward through his speech. "No doubt your mind is simply ablaze with curiosity as to the nature of my surprise. Of course, my nosy Miss Ritchi, I cannot have you finding out about it too soon, or the suspense would be sadly reduced! Therefore, I will leave you to your feeble speculations. Wonder in vain, for never in your wildest dreams have you imagined what is in store for you this night!"

With that, Megamind bowed out of the room, leaving Roxanne with her chaotic thoughts.

* * *

><p>Okay, okay, so I didn't go into the woman in white as much as I'd planned. It still has some information about her, and there are lots of little tidbits that will certainly come up in the story later.<p>

A longer chapter than usual, and much harder to write. I guess that's just because it isn't as action-packed as I would like. Then again, if everything was action-packed then I wouldn't be able to have a decent background for a story, so this stuff is important. I also need to watch the movie again, Megamind has such a unique way of saying things that it's hard to write accurately! Roxanne isn't so easy either, especially since she reacts very differently to different stimuli. I had to rewrite portions of this chapter so many times I don't remember all the versions anymore!

Sorry that I couldn't do the Hal TV spot; maybe I'll do a separate story with all the little things someday :) I do take requests, lol!

Review please! I know, utterly shameless, yet it is very important. The things you like and dislike modify the way that I write the story and keep me writing it. Thanks everyone, and see you next time!


	4. Chapter 4: Impending

Okay, first, a word to my sponsors.

I am extremely sorry about the very long hiatus on this story. When I first began, I had a general idea of where it was going and some decent plot points. As I continued working on it, however, I discovered that I needed more background. So I started my other fanfiction, _Beginnings_, which starts at the Very Beginning and works on through. I intended to wait on this one until _Beginnings_ and its eventual sequel were out, but after reading your reviews, I decided to alternate between this story and the prequel. I mean, not one plea to continue, but NINE?!

To put it in a nutshell, your voices have been heard. Here is the result, and I hope you like it. I made it rather a long chapter, as there were more than a few points to be touched on and you guys have been waiting so very long for it. I will be alternating between _A Hero's Tale_ and _Beginnings_, hopefully getting at least one chapter out a month between the two.

Also, just to let you know, I have no intention of stopping this story until it is complete - or any of my stories. So while yes, it may revert to being once in five blue moons, the story will keep coming - eventually.

End of word.

* * *

><p>Roxanne shifted uncomfortably on the crate. The gag and blindfold were really getting on her nerves, since she could usually speak and see while Megamind performed his evil schemes. Then again, he supposedly didn't do that anymore.<p>

_Hah_. Roxanne rolled her eyes under her blindfold. Suuure. And that was the reason she was waiting for Megamind's surprise with her arms tied behind her back.

Life was surprisingly repetitive sometimes.

She wondered how seriously he had taken her threats. Apparently not too seriously, or she would be free right now. Crap. Waiting for him was about as interesting as watching paint dry.

**Clank.**

_What was that?_

**CLANK ****clank ****CLANK ****clank ****CLANK**-

Whatever it was, it was coming closer. Despite herself, Roxanne felt a twinge of nervousness. Not all of Megamind's inventions knew how to play nice...

Bow-b-clank-b-b0wg-clank-bow-bowg-bow-

Oh. Brainbots. Well, that was better, they only bit Megamind. But then, what was that clanking noise-

CLANKCLANKCLANKCLANKCLANK-

"Miss Ritchi! Oh no, did Sir leave you there long?"

Roxanne breathed out a sigh of relief through the thin cotton gag. "Whoo!" She mentally kicked herself for not recognizing Minion's gorilla suit footsteps.

The fish immediately removed her gag and untied her hands. "I'm so sorry, Miss Ritchi, I don't know what's gotten into Sir today! He's been so excited, you know how he is on a project!"

Roxanne worked her mouth a little to relieve the stiffness from her gag and flexed her wrists. "Thank you, Minion!" She lifted her hands to undo the blindfold, but metallic fingers covered her own and pulled her hands away.

Roxanne could almost feel the fish squirm in discomfort. "I'm sorry, Miss Ritchi, Sir said specifically that he wanted you to feel it first. I'll turn my back, and please don't take it off while I'm not looking, Sir told the brainbots to restrain you if they had to." She heard a distinct CLANK CLANK as Minion turned his back.

"Feel wha-" Roxanne started, then shrieked as the brainbots started removing her clothes! "MINION! Stop them! ARGH!" She batted at the tentacled robots as they pulled at her dress, bowging excitedly. Cold metal claws dug into her arms and wrists, restraining her effectively. She shivered as her beautiful, carefully picked red dress fell to the floor.

Roxanne felt the hard crate press less against her shoes, then scrape lightly, then- but the famous reporter had been picked up enough by flying men to know what was happening. She tensed, wanting to grab onto something, but the brainbots were too strong.

They lifted her gently off the crate and up into the air, sliding her heels and nylons off and replacing them with high, thick stockings and some sort of heavy boots. The barking robots let her down slowly. Roxanne was relieved when her feet touched wood again. She felt the claws lift her arms straight up, then let go. She jerked them back down, determined to at least put up **some** resistance, but the brainbots just pushed insistently at her elbows, forcing her to keep her arms raised.

A huge amount of fabric dropped over her head. Roxanne and the bots wrestled with it, her trying to get it off, the brainbots trying to force it on.

The brainbots won.

She felt gloves shoved on her hands. Something heavy plunked onto her shoulders. Roxanne could feel its weight trying to tilt her backwards and leaned forward a bit to compensate. Whatever the thing was, it was _**huge**_.

She felt their metallic claws leave her upper arms, the only part of her body other than her face that was not covered by heavy fabric. The brainbots finally left her alone, barking victoriously, their mechanical voices fading off into the distance.

Now that the shock was over, Roxanne's anger returned. "MINION! MINION! You get over here right now and get me down! And while you're at it, you tell your sorry excuse for a master that this is **not** funny!"

Clank clank.

Roxanne felt cold hands touch the back of her head and undo the blindfold while Minion whispered an apology. White cotton slid off as the reporter heard a strangled gasp behind her. She turned.

Megamind, dressed in a giant cape reminiscent of the Black Mamba, was staring at her worshipfully. His green eyes glowed with awe and if his jaw fell any lower, it would literally hit the floor.

Roxanne smiled and stepped off the platform, sauntering lovingly past Minion to her handsome, extravagantly dressed man, clothes rustling. She took his strong chin in her hand, rubbing the strip of beard admiringly.

CRACK.

Megamind rubbed his suddenly pink cheek painfully, flinching as Roxanne raised her hand again. This time, she didn't slap him, just crossed her arms. "What were you thinking?!" she demanded angrily.

The alien opened his mouth, then shut it. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Minion sneak away. Megamind wished fervently that he could get out of this as easily. "I- uh- now Roxanne..."

She raised an eyebrow expectantly. "Yes?"

He gulped. "It's a special day," he said defensively.

Roxanne was unconvinced. "Really."

He squirmed under her accusing gaze. "You-you don't remember?" Megamind turned on his best kicked-puppy look.

She blinked skeptically. "It isn't your birthday, or mine, and we haven't been dating long enough for an anniversary. Even you aren't geeky enough to celebrate a moon-a-versary, and somehow, I don't think this is what you'd like to see my parents in. Even if it were, there's no reason for you to treat me like I'm still your- oh no." She stared at him, wide-eyed.

Megamind smiled affectionately, pleased that Roxanne understood. "It's the 17th anniversary of the first time I kidnapped you."

Roxanne mentally groaned. He was right, how **could** she forget? Every year, he celebrated this stupid anniversary by kidnapping her in an extraordinary way. The first celebration had been mild, just putting her over a pool of acid (she'd figured out his 'acid' was actually diluted lime jello, but still). Then came the first time he'd brought out the alligators, the Evil Fun House, and Monstrous Chess. Last year's was a terrifying picnic on top of Metro Tower, with Megamind threatening to shove her off.

It'd taken a while for Roxanne to realize that although he usually kidnapped her on Tuesdays, Megamind always interrupted his schedule for July 26th. Minion would make dinner and the same chocolate cake with plain white frosting. Roxanne had thought it was kind of sweet, in a morbidly twisted way.

She sighed. It still was sweet. She understood that he wanted to acknowledge their history together, and most of that had been snarking at each other during kidnappings. She could deal with that. She could even like that, except for one thing she didn't get.

"Why is today so different?" she asked, frowning.

Megamind looked confused. "What?"

"Why is today so different?" Roxanne repeated, exasperated. "Usually you plan some sort of crazy thing like the Equestrinator, dangling me from I don't know how high – what's your deal with heights, anyway? Some sick fascination with imitating space? – and then we have dinner. Today, you just put me in this silly dress."

A slow, affectionate smile spread across his silly blue face, and he sighed happily with half-lidded eyes. Which, although **adorable**, did not answer her question.

"Well?"

"Isn't it obvious, my dear Roxanne? What have I been asking you for - and you promised me, I might add, a promise you have **finally** kept - these many, many years?" His mushy grin grew even sappier until she was surprised it wasn't dripping syrup.

_A promise? What could I have possibly-_

Wait a minute. Oh God. Roxanne covered her eyes with her hand as something clicked in her mind, a conversation they'd had years ago. The last time he had invited her to join his side, he'd said something about a dress. [i"It is your destiny! Join me, and together we can rule Metrocity as husband and Queen! And you get Minion's designer ee-vil dresses for free, think of the bargain!" She'd turned him down so hard that Megamind had never mentioned it again. And then, three years ago, just before their second kiss, she had taunted him with becoming his Queen.

Roxanne massaged her eyes with her fingers, tired of playing his games. Couldn't she get good old 'Bernard' for just one night?! "Megamind, I am not your Evil Queen! I'm not even your Good Queen!"

The goofy smile disappeared as the blue alien deflated like a neglected balloon. Closing his eyes, Megamind took a ragged breath and managed, "So... you're leaving me then."

Roxanne growled in frustration. How could she make him understand? "No! Honey, the world doesn't run on extremes! I won't leave you because we have an argument-" Megamind perked up hopefully- "and just because we're dating doesn't mean I'll stay with you forever!" -and the hang-dog look was back. "Everything isn't good or evil, black or white, yes or no. I'm proud to be your girlfriend, but I want to stay that way for a little while. Maybe we'll get married someday, okay?"

Roxanne stroked his cheek, hoping it would help him cheer up. It did, a little. At least, Megamind's lip twitched slightly. He still looked hurt and broken.

She wanted desperately to put him back together, put the light back in his eyes. The problem was that to Megamind, this costume she was wearing meant that she was his, utterly his.

Not that she'd mind... later. Much later. After he'd settled down into this hero role, the police stopped grumbling, Minion got used to her being around all the time, and she'd adapted to not trashing Megamind every second on air. And Megamind still needed to meet her parents **civilly**, work out the legal kinks for getting out of his life sentences, and convince 'Music Man' to admit that he wasn't dead. There were so many problems and steps to take right now it wasn't even funny.

And here he was, practically proposing – not even proposing, just **presuming** that they were already effectively married because she'd chosen to be with him.

Men.

And now he was looking at her with those hurt, impossibly huge puppy-dog eyes, lips parted just slightly as he swallowed nervously. His pain jerked at her heartstrings and made her want to comfort him and accede to his wishes, even as the potency of his lonely look urged her to be even crueler.

Roxanne wavered between her conflicting emotions. Finally, the brunette compromised and hugged her boyfriend, leaning her head against his ridiculously huge epaulets, careful to avoid the gigantic spikes. Megamind's breath caught. He hesitantly took her into his arms and breathed a sigh of mingled relief and confusion.

They stood there, two gigantic swaths of cloth, savoring the relaxing moment.

Megamind whispered, "I love you, Roxanne," at the same time she murmured, "I love you, spaceman." They both laughed and tension melted away.

Wistfully, the ex-villain asked, "Will you at least wear the dress?"

"Sure," she said with a shrug. _What the heck, it's not like he still thinks I'm his wife or anything. And my image can't get any worse, right?_

~~~MM~~~

Everything was going according to plan.

Megamind hastily changed his e-vil smirk to a loving smile as he surveyed his beautiful Roxanne sitting opposite him in Vino di Vizzini's opulent restaurant. The hero mentally reminded himself to compliment Minion on the Evil Queen outfit design. The red and black dress was incredibly complex, based loosely on a Renaissance gown, including poofy red layers over black with lace trim on the skirt, which was currently not visible under the table. Her corset consisted of an intricate network of embroidery, which reminded Megamind of black spi-yider webs, overlaid on a solid red background. Her black gloves had straps that imitated the embroidery. The best part about the gloves and corset was that they left Roxanne's lovely shoulders and arms above the elbow bare, so he could gaze upon Roxanne's gloriously creamy skin.

And, of course, the obligatory-yet-so-amazingly-lovely exaggerated collar completed the outfit, almost rivaling his in height and majesty. The collar stretched around her head in six sharp-looking points, curved to her waist, then belled out again to outline the skirt enticingly. He had requested a crown, yet now that Roxanne was wearing the dress, he agreed with Minion; it would have interfered with the-

"MEGAMIND!"

"Huh?" The alien snapped his attention away from Roxanne's dress to the delicious woman herself, mentally slapping himself for allowing his attention to wander. He'd never get points toward Roxanne's affection that way.

A man to his right - far to his right, actually, apparently nervous about tripping over the Black Mamba Mark II - shifted, displaying that awkward servility of waiters everywhere. Oh. Ordering. Right. Megamind cleared his throat. "I'll have the chef's sah-lad and the, uh, the Fettuccine Alfredo, and, um, could you add, ah, marinara to that?" Try as he might, Megamind's eyes kept flickering over to Roxanne, distracting him just enough for him to embarrass himself.

As Roxanne ordered, the distractible alien's attention wandered. She was busy discussing the virtues of salad and entrees, so he could indulge in approximately 40 seconds of contemplation. The big-headed alien dreamily imagined a wardrobe filled with queenly, warrior, and feminine outfits of all kinds and colors, as befitted a jewel such as Roxanne...

40 seconds was up, and Megamind brought his attention back to Roxanne - who was smirking at him knowingly. Apparently, she had finished ordering ahead of sche-dule. Oops.

She was blushing as well, so perhaps his staring was not entirely out of order.

"You know, maybe I should've agreed to the Evil Queen idea sooner. You're so distracted, I could have untied my bonds three times already and you wouldn't have noticed."

Megamind smiled charmingly. "I would have liked that. You always distracted me with your beauty, even during my most dastardly plans."

Roxanne looked at him pityingly. "You made it way too easy, Megamind. Whenever Metro Ma- I mean, whenever you looked like you were about to win, I just had to say something good about you and you'd turn around every time."

He felt a flash of embarrassment. "Well, you were beautiful," he replied lamely.

She smirked triumphantly. Megamind groaned inwardly. She was bantering, and although he liked that game, it wasn't the one he was intending to play. Why did nothing ever go according to plan?!

Well, one thing he had learned over the years was to play it by ear. If she wanted to banter, then he could banter. "I also noticed, **Miss** **Ritchi**, that whenever I wore something unusual you would forget some of your lines as well. Particularly with outfits containing spikes." He cocked an eyebrow challengingly.

Roxanne turned a bit red and snapped heatedly, "That was because I was worried you'd stab me to death. I still have the scar from the Great Blue Shark."

"That was only once!" Megamind protested. "Minion never intended-"

"I know, I know. 'He never intended to hurt you.' Somehow, that doesn't make me feel any better." Roxanne was bored. Banter wasn't really how she wanted this date to go, but that was the way it always went. Ever since Tighten, they had been dancing around each other, not really sure how to get close enough, not sure how much distance to keep. Too much history as kidnapper and kidnappee, too little just being friends.

Noticing her pensive look, Megamind took his beautiful reporter's hand in his. "Roxanne," he said, concerned.

"I'm fine." She absently brushed her hair behind her ear. "I just... need to use the ladies." She stood, rocking the table a bit with her gorgeous skirt.

Ohhhkay... apparently he was supposed to know what that meant. Maybe it was one of those girl things? He'd never heard the term "use the ladies" before. Did that mean that she was needing to talk to one of the women in the restaurant? Or get her hair or makeup redone? She had already fixed it before they left, yet presentation **was** everything.

He started to rise too, because as escort, he should be where she was. As he half-rose, she smiled teasingly.

"Megamind, I think I can handle this one on my own." Roxanne turned, then paused for a second. He was about to ask her what was up, but then she continued walking - into the women's bathroom.

_Oh..._

He blushed, then turned his gaze away from the male-banned area. Not that he hadn't been in a girl's bathroom before, but the memories were rather embarrassing to all concerned.

With Roxanne gone, Megamind focused on the only thing left - his surroundings. A bunch of people were staring at him, nothing new there. They also appeared to have exactly the same never-changing pop-eyed expression. After a few seconds contemplating how long they could keep it up, he was bored.

The blue alien absentmindedly unrolled his tableware from the protective napkin, placing them the correct distance from the edge of the table. A twitch and the tablecloth was fixed so he and Roxanne would have the same amount hanging over their sides, instead of her having an extra half-inch interfering with her sitting down. While he was repositioning the candle, movement from the seat across caught his eye.

"Oh, evil, you're back!" He looked up eagerly. However, the figure in front of him was not his lovely reporter, but some strange white woman.

It was not a racial description, though she was a very pale caucasian. Her dress was white and extremely simple, with only a sheer white wrap covering her shoulders. Her hair was brown and pulled tight to the back of her head in a braided bun, covered by a filmy hair scarf like a wedding veil. A ring of small white flowers were woven into the hair, almost like a crown or circlet. Her lips were so pale as to be almost bloodless. Her eyes were a pleasant, warm dark brown, the only warmth of her entire figure. Otherwise, she gave the unsettling feeling of a being from the Arctic. Even her small smile gave him the chills.

Megamind was nonplussed. "Um, who are you?" he asked, looking around for Roxanne. By his calculations, she should be back any minute. He did not want her to see him with another woman on their **date**.

"Don't worry, I won't take but a moment of your time, Mr. Megamind," she simpered. _Wow, her voice sounds nothing like her looks._ "I'm just a really big fanatic, and I know you don't need a publicist, I mean, not really, Roxanne Ritchi has your back - and your mouth," she giggled. "You big evil tiger you."

"Ah, not evil anymore, madame, and I can't spare the time..." Even beyond her voice, which sounded like a failed experiment combining sweet-and-sour sauce with a helium balloon, the woman was very creepy.

Unfortunately, she stayed put, completely ignoring his fairly obvious hint to go away. "Well, anyway, I just wanted to give you my card, just in case, you know, you want to look into something a little different? It'll spice up your life, I guarantee, you don't have to commit to anything!"

She held out her card. He stared at her incredulously. Did she really think he would utilize her dubious services in publicity after this horrifying display of poor manners?

The white woman's lip pulled slightly to the left and her brown eyes glittered, no longer warm. Her voice became so low as to be almost threatening. "Just take it," she murmured softly. "I guarantee, it will be worth your while."

When he still made no motion to take the card, she shoved the flimsy colorful rectangle into his gloved palm. Thankfully, she finally rose, nodding in a way that was almost a bow, then retook her seat a few tables over.

Interestingly, there was no chair opposite her. Why would she be alone in a restaurant like this? It was almost as if she had planned the whole thing just to talk to him.

Seeing him stare at her, the woman smiled her chilling smile and mouthed distinctly, "Read it carefully, hero."

Curious, he flipped the business card so he could read it. It said, "Smithsonian Solutions Incorporated - Solving the Universe One Giant Hop at a Time" in green. Below that in red: "Amber Smith, Chief of Marketing, (555)546-2365, ambersmith at smithsonian. com."

Okay, now he was confused. She wasn't from the national museum, that was certain, because for one thing it would be an educational email address instead of a commercial one, and for another, it was called the Smithsonian Institution, not Smithsonian Solutions. So what was Smithsonian Solutions?

Perhaps it was a marketing firm for inventors. Yet, it said she was the head of the marketing division, not a marketing company, so that wasn't it. Maybe this woman expected to publicize his inventions? Or recruit him to her company? In either case, why would she be so clandes-tine about it?

A rustle of fabric in the other chair made him look up. "Ah, perhaps you can clarify this card of yours, madame," he suggested. "For example, why are you giving it to me?"

"I didn't, but I'd like to see what she gave you," Roxanne's amused voice answered.

Megamind jumped. He really needed to check visually before he made assumptions. "I- How did you- There's nothing between us," the blue alien stammered. Roxanne was so sensitive, and he didn't want her slamming his giant blue head into the windshield again.

To his surprise, she simply took the card, looking over it curiously just as he had done. "I know," she responded absently. She scanned it, then flipped it over. The back had a white background with a gold banner serving as a border. However, the middle was mysteriously empty.

"This doesn't make sense! Why would there be a frame when there's nothing in it? Where did you get this?" Roxanne asked, frowning.

"From the woman over there," he nodded to her table.

She was gone.

The two looked at each other, eyebrows raised.

"Something's fishy about this," Roxanne mused, staring at the blank card.

"And it isn't Minion," Megamind answered thoughtfully.

The reporter stared at the card for another second, then started laughing. "You did not just say that!"

"Say what?" He asked innocently, grinning. "I am completely innocent of any wrongdoing!"

She rolled her eyes. "As if **you** could ever be innocent," she quipped playfully.

He turned away from her and crossed his arms, pretending to be offended. Then he flicked his eyes back to hers, mischief written all over his face.

They both laughed. Roxanne looked at him warmly. "This is nice, Megamind. No evil plans, or bag, or banter - just us." She dropped the card and slid her hand over to his. She was looking at him in exactly the same way she had their first serious date, just before she kissed him.

His stomach started flip-flopping nervously. He wanted to kiss her, oh so badly. The feel of her lips had been marvelously lovely then. Soft, slow, filled with affection and trust.

Yet so, so many of their kisses turned out as complete disasters. Their first, she'd been drunk as a skunk. The second was a passionate trick, and he had turned their third from a wonderful experience into a betrayal of trust. Since then, they had managed with quick pecks that gave nothing, risked nothing.

The affection was still there, yes, but the fear was so strong. Not only his, either. What if she didn't want to? Worse, what if she ran out again? Left him... alone?

She was still looking at him. Eyes. Azure sky. Vibrant, tender. Waiting.

He decided it was worth the risk. He leaned in, slowly, giving her plenty of opportunity to turn away without causing embarrassment on either side.

To his joy and relief, she responded, lifting her face toward his. "You won't turn into anyone else this time?" she asked, half-joking.

"No," he smiled. Then, as a moment of doubt flicked across her face, he became serious. "I promise."

The kiss was soft and nice, though a bit dry. He tried to mimic her actions and use all his knowledge of women's preferences toward kissing - collected from awful romance novels and the internet - to please her. Length, check; softness, check; no too wet, check.

Part of his brain argued that they were doing nothing more than touching lips; the other part saw another chain helping to form the circle of his and Roxanne's relationship. He could stay here forever, wrapped in the warmth of Roxanne's affections, even if he did have to work at it a little to make her happy.

Finally, she pulled away. Blushing, she tucked her hair behind her ear. "That was... nice, spaceman."

He laughed self-consciously. "Really?"

Her smile warmed him like the sun, though it was a bit more knowing than he would like. "Really."

Then, the waiters came with the salads. Roxanne and Megamind politely paused in their conversation so it wouldn't be uncomfortable for the men. It always astonished Roxanne when Megamind showed that he had, completely by accident, picked up a few of the more particular unspoken rules of society.

The shorter man delivered Roxanne's italian wedge, keeping slightly further away from the reporter than customary to avoid the sharp points of her collar. The taller, carrying Megamind's chef salad, was forced to step on his cape, since it spread out a good ten feet on the floor. Megamind rose to confront the heathen who dared tread on perfection -

- and spent the next fifteen minutes cleaning lettuce and egg off his face.

~~MM~~

After the waiter apologized profusely to Megamind, Megamind apologized through his teeth to the waiter, and Roxanne apologized to Megamind for laughing so hard, the meal was fairly quiet. The waiters were careful to deliver everything from Roxanne's side of the table, and Megamind was courteously simmering. Conversation stalled. He even refused dessert.

The waiter brought the check. Megamind stuffed a wad of bills into the little black book that looked way too small to cover their meal. Roxanne raised her eyebrows, but didn't comment. She took the subtler approach, slipping a little extra into the book when Megamind wasn't looking.

Roxanne decided that this had gone on long enough. She had resigned herself to Megamind's occasional pouts, since she and the fish had both tried and tried to change that part of him to no avail, but this was ridiculous. Most of dinner had been wasted, and she wouldn't let the whole night follow the same way.

As the blue alien rose and helped Roxanne from her chair, she decided to do what she always did. Distract him. "So, I guess that worked out pretty well," she commented as he escorted her toward the door.

"Well! Well?! Did you see what that man did to my cape?!" Megamind hissed, keeping his voice low for her sake. "He tracked dirty footprints all over it, the creh-tin! And then he threw sah-lad in my face!"

"Actually," Roxanne murmured sultrily, "I meant something else worked out." She took his elbow, leaning against him contentedly.

She felt a bit of satisfaction as his cheeks changed from furious purple to lightly embarrassed pink. His eyes darted to hers, but he seemed too bashful to speak.

"I mean, we kissed and we're still talking to each other an hour later," she pointed out. "That's new."

"That always happens after our... uh..." he floundered for a less blatant way to put it, "our... ro-mahn-tic encounters. We always talk afterwards."

Roxanne glanced at him sharply. "I mean," she said wryly, "we don't **feel** like speaking to each other afterwards, and this time we do."

"Ah, you mean no recriminations," he observed. "Yes, that is new. Hopefully, a trend that will continue. If you want, we could practice some more?" he tried tentatively.

Roxanne smiled. "How about we get that cake at the Lair and see?"

~~MM~~

The couple walked out the door to Vino di Vizzini, smiling and laughing. Megamind held open the invisible door for his lady and helped her in. He pressed the folds of her dress into the interior, then shut it. Megamind entered the driver's side with significantly less difficulty, even though his cape was far more voluminous.

As he drove away, the sound of giggles, protestations, and 80s rock spiked the air.

A pale shape detached from the shadows. It opened the restaurant door a crack, then flicked its wrist. A wire, thin as a hair, snapped inside and out again in a blink. The figure turned the forgotten Smithsonian business card around and around in its fingers, disturbed. Its eyes narrowed.

"If that's the way you want to play it, very well. I'm adaptable. You will not ignore me for long, Megamind. We will meet tomorrow, whether you like it or not."

* * *

><p>Ahhh, sweet success. A long chapter and it moves the story along (a little). Review?<p> 


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